How'd it feel making her break her religion?
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
