big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
love makes seman taste better
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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