Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Randomize
