Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Randomize
