The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize
