you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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