White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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