no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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