Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
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