If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
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