Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
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