I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
