Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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