Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
