but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Randomize