I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
