I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
