im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
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