So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Randomize
