People in love make me want to vomit
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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