She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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