i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
Girls should come with a carfax report
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
