I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
