its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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