well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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