Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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