Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
i think i have herpe
just one?
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
The best revenge is premature balding
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
