Already got asked if we're dating
She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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