I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Randomize
