Four minutes until I can fart!
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
