Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
It all started with a game of naked twister.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
