Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
