Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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