he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
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