I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
