Screwed.edu
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize