I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
