Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Randomize