some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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