Kiss
Puke
I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
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