i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Randomize
