Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize