i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
