I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Randomize
