fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
God, you're like boner-b-gone
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
