if i can run in heels then i can drive
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
