Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
