Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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