She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Randomize
