Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I bet he comes in French.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
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