you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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