We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
