My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
