I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I love black thongs
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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