If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Randomize
