Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I wannas sexs uuuuu
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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