Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Randomize
