Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
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