you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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