i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
